Quick Sex Recipe - Thirty Minutes or Less-2

By Pala Copeland and Al Link
And now, back to reality-although quick satisfying sex for both parties is not impossible, it is rare. You may think half an hour is not "quick sex", after all according to Durex' Global Sex Survey 2000 the average time for lovemaking around the world is under 30 minutes, but hey, who wants to be average? When you consider sexual satisfaction, 30 minutes may be plenty of time for a man to get his rocks off but women generally need longer, especially when making love with a partner. While many women can regularly reach orgasm through masturbation-the Sinclair Sexuality Institute says 60% do-a recent Cosmpolitan survey reports only 18% always find the big O with a lover. Too little time and lack of technique are the big culprits.

Men, especially younger men, seem to enjoy having their genitals touched at any time. This is rarely the case with most women-when a man reaches for breasts or genitals as the first touch it's a turn-off, not a turn-on. That's because women take much longer than men to come to full arousal. Remember this one-liner? "Women are ready 15 minutes after men are finished." Although women have as much erectile, pleasure-giving tissue as men, most of it is inside. The woman's clitoris becomes erect and hard as arousal and excitement builds during sexual play. Her inner and outer lips, and the soft tissues at the entrance to the vagina, will become engorged with blood as passion increases. Eventually the entire inside of the vaginal canal will become plump, juicy and sensitized, but it can take as much as an hour or more before she is really ready and eager for penetration. Without proper lubrication of these fragile tissues, intercourse can be unpleasant or downright painful. Even if you use a lubricant, like Astroglide or Eros, until her vaginal canal is relaxed and open with excitement, penetration won't give her the delightful sensations you'd both like.

Men also find quickies more satisfying than women because they generally enjoy sex at any time. If men make an emotional connection at all, it will be after they have had sex, whereas women often require a heart connection to build their interest. With quick sex aimed at satisfying only her partner's needs a woman may feel she's being used. She may be reminded of a painful experience of sexual abuse, or she may feel guilt and shame based on years of religious and cultural sex-negative conditioning that still says good girls do not really enjoy sex-if they do, they are sluts or whores. Fast sex can bring up this disrespectful imagery, and for women, respect is ultimately important. Fortunately, more women are beginning to claim their right to sexual pleasure as a natural part of a full life, and that includes sexual satisfaction at their pace.

For men, admiration is ultimately important, and admiration from their buddies seems to matter the most-especially for younger men. Men admire other men who get a lot of sex, and they seem most impressed by the man who gets a lot of fast sex! The more mature a man becomes in his sexuality, the less this will be true-he'll value the opinions of his buddies less, and of his woman more. Women, especially younger women, are often looking for a committed relationship that will develop and last with great sex as part of it, whereas young men although eager for sex, may rather avoid being tied down in a relationship. For women, loveless sex outside of relationship may make them feel bad about themselves, but for men, sex outside of relationship is an ego-boosting conquest, that confirms they are attractive, desirable and powerful. This difference in perspective leads to very different feelings about fast sex.

This is not to say that women cannot enjoy quickies, they can, but as an occasional experience when the time, energy and feeling is right-for example, if you have been separated for some time. You get back together and jump on each other. Neither of you can wait to even say hello. The whole thing can be over in a few delirious moments. However, it's better-for both of you-if this first quickie is followed by a delicious lingering loving, during which you become intimately reacquainted. Both lovers can also enjoy sex as a way to release tension-fast hot sex is a great way to make up after an argument. Sometimes a woman will take pleasure in fast sex, because she knows it pleases her man, that he really "needed" it to relieve stresses of work or school for instance.

Another scenario in which women honestly enjoy fast sex (as opposed to pretending to or just tolerating it) may be at a party or a bar, where the two of you are complete strangers who make intense eye contact. You approach each other; your pheromones mingle and drive you into an instant, lusty frenzy. As Lou Reed says, "I think it's chemical." There is something about the eyes, the shape of the mouth, the tone of voice, the cut of hair, the exposed cleavage, or the bulge in the pants, that drives you wild in a completely irrational way. You go outside in a dark alley, into your car, or into a storage room and get it on fast and furious. Very few words may have been spoken. You are animals in rut. The danger of it, the excitement of it, the forbiddeness of it, can be so overwhelming that you (especially the woman) act in a way uncharacteristic of your usual behavior.