20 May 2010

Keep Sex Fun

Use these 13 tips!
by Gary and Barbara Rosberg

Couples often ask us how to keep the excitement in sex. Our answer: Stay connected. Being connected body to body and heart to heart is what makes sex fulfilling and fun. Here are 13 ways you and your spouse can have more passion.
1. Kiss deeply.
Do you remember the kind of kissing you did when you first fell in love? Do you still kiss that deeply and passionately? Rediscover passionate kissing. Take your time. Enjoy the touch and taste of each other's lips.
2. Bask in the afterglow.
Savor the closeness you feel after having sex. Stay in each other's arms. Tell your spouse how good it felt and how much you love him or her. This is one of the most intimate times as a couple.
3. Become a student of your spouse's sexual zones. One episode of the sitcom Friends dealt with the different erogenous zones. The characters were discussing sex outside the context of marriage, which, of course, we don't condone. However, the scriptwriters made an interesting point about males and females. Monica and Rachel identified seven erogenous zones. Chandler said, "You're kidding. I thought there were four." One of the women replied, "See, that's your problem. You go one, two, four. You're missing three, five, six. Oh! And toes! Seven."
A woman has more erogenous zones than just her breasts and vagina. Explore with her, and discover where she's most responsive. Kiss, stroke, or caress each body part. Ask, "How does this feel? Does it make you tingle? What would make you feel even more tingly—if I caressed less or more?" Remember that although it's good to work toward climax, the journey is pretty unbelievable too.
4. Understand a wife's definition of satisfaction.
"I don't get it, Gary," Doug told me at a conference. "I do everything I can think of in bed, but Janet doesn't usually have an orgasm."
"Does that bother Janet?"
"No. She seems content. I don't get that either."
"That's because many women are still satisfied with sex, even when they don't have an orgasm." Doug stared blankly at me. "Huh?"
Husbands, if you want to satisfy your wife, shift your definition of satisfaction. Of course, wives love to climax (who doesn't?), but they can enjoy the lovemaking experience even when they don't reach that place.
Many women enjoy the sensuality of cuddling, kissing, and touching every bit as much as they enjoy the thrill of a climax. Women's sexual pleasure occurs on many levels other than simply orgasm.
5. Understand, accept, and appreciate sexual peaks.
Most men reach their sexual peak in their late teens or early twenties. Most women reach theirs a decade or more later. Often when a woman is in her thirties and forties her sexual desire becomes stronger, sometimes insatiable. And as a man ages, his emotional side increases. Through each stage, couples grow and learn more about each other and become more patient and sensitive to each other's needs. This is God's blessing to us, because it allows a couple's sex life greater longevity and duration.
6. Understand the different kinds of sex.
So often couples feel the pressure to have "perfect" sex—complete with earthquake, fireworks, and multiple orgasms. Not every time you have sex will be a "bell ringer." And that's okay, because you're both connecting. Sometimes sex will be a quickie to meet the need of the moment. Sometimes it will be functional sex, or just because sex, when you think, I'm not in the mood, but my spouse needs me right now. Sometimes it may be comfort sex, when life has brought devastation and the only comfort and security is to be found in the arms of your spouse as a lover. You'll be ahead when you understand that the different kinds of sex point to the ultimate reason for sex: the relationship. The goal is not whether you end with a climax. The goal is that you're connecting as a couple.
7. But make passionate sex the main kind.
Don't rush. In a sex survey we conducted recently, we asked women what they hated about sex. Rushed sex ranked number five. When you have a solid foundation and you've spent years growing together and discovering, then you want to have a lot of variety. But a woman
who is repeatedly unsatisfied, who senses that her husband's pleasure always comes before hers, can feel used and empty. She wants to experience the whole spectrum of sex—the physical, emotional, spiritual, relational. We aren't saying rushed or quickie sex is wrong. But sex can't be rushed all the time. That would be like eating nothing but fast food. Going through the local fast food drive-through for a chili dog and onion rings every once in a while isn't a problem, but your health would suffer if you did it every meal. Make your goal pleasurable sex that satisfies both of you.
8. Communicate what type of sex you need.
If you think you're going to have a quickie and your spouse is expecting a long, passionate encounter, both of you will probably end up frustrated. Clarify your expectations. Women need to prepare mentally for sex. If a wife knows she's headed for quickie sex, she can mentally prepare for that, including the realization that she may not climax. Most of the time she'll still enjoy it, even if she doesn't have the same outcome as her husband.
9. Learn your spouse's sexual triggers.
We often joke about his-and-hers sexual triggers. Usually we say that men have one sexual trigger: everything. Women are a bit more complex. But seriously, because men are more visually stimulated, a man can become aroused by seeing his wife naked, undressing, or wearing something provocative. Typically, women are not that way. So a husband needs to discover what his wife's sexual triggers are.
A wife may be a "touch me" girl: she likes hugs and caresses. She may be a "tell me" girl: she likes affirmation and verbal foreplay. She may be a "listen to me and share with me" girl: she opens up after connecting with her husband through conversation. She may be a "doing" girl: she appreciates it when he picks up messes and helps with housework. She may be a "spiritual food" girl: she becomes open to sex after connecting with him through prayer, reading Scripture, and discussing spiritual matters.
10. Practice the fine art of appreciation.
There's a part of each of us that likes it when our mate is happy with our performance, insight, or advice. We long to hear, "You did a good job," or "You've worked so hard this week; I want to take you out for dinner so you don't have to cook." Sincere verbal appreciation motivates us. Overwhelm your spouse with appreciation, and watch sexual desire increase.
11. Make each other a priority. Multitudes of sex therapists and marriage counselors name fatigue as the number one enemy of sexual intimacy. When couples are worn out, sex is one of the first things to go. If sex enters our minds—even fleetingly—we think, I'd really like to have sex, but when do I have the time and the energy?
We can push sex to the side and claim it's "just for a season." But pretty soon, that season turns into a pattern. That's when it becomes ingrained in the heart and we become blind to what we're doing. Of all sexual issues, exhaustion is the one over which we have the most control. How? By reprioritizing, working less, saying no to outside activities that don't further the marriage, or asking for help. Carve out time each week just to relax and have fun with each other.
Grab your calendars, sit down with your spouse, and talk through your schedules. Ask each other these questions: What is an absolute priority? What feels like an absolute priority but really isn't? What can we get rid of, at least for now? What is the best day to set aside as a time for just the two of us to have sex, to have fun, and enjoy each other? Get yourselves back to remembering, Oh yeah! This is really fun!
12. Say "Why not?"
When our young grandson asks for something, I (Barb) love to respond with "Why not?" He asks, "Can I have a Popsicle?" and I answer, "Why not?" He understands the response so well that he's begun to mimic me: "Why not, Gaga?" I love that because in a sense I'm telling him that I'm his greatest cheerleader. Anything he wants, I affirm.
You know what? That's how I want to be in my marriage. Don't you? I want to be my spouse's cheerleader and affirmer.
What if you started to say "Why not?" to your spouse? Let's say your husband calls you and announces, "I'll meet you at home; we'll enjoy some lunch—and each other." Instead of lamenting the lost opportunity to run an errand, respond, "Why not?" Or when your wife e-mails you and announces, "The kids are going to be at sports practice for two hours. If you come home early, I'll make it worth your while," don't think of that backlog of paperwork on your desk. Respond, "Why not?"
Give yourself permission to enjoy sex. Be open to pleasing your lover. Take on a "Why not?" attitude.
13. Keep practicing!
Sex stirs the craving for more sex. Lovemaking elevates the brain chemicals associated with desire. So as we decide to have sex and find we enjoy our time of lovemaking, our libidos increase, often leading to an increased yearning to have sex more often. What could be more fun and exciting than that?

Adapted from The Five Sex Needs of Men and Women. © 2006 by Gary and Barbara Rosberg. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers.

18 May 2010

Gabriela Mistral


Hay besos que pronuncian por sí solos

la sentencia de amor condenatoria,
hay besos que se dan con la mirada
hay besos que se dan con la memoria.

Hay besos silenciosos, besos nobles
hay besos enigmáticos, sinceros
hay besos que se dan sólo las almas
hay besos por prohibidos, verdaderos.

Hay besos que calcinan y que hieren,
hay besos que arrebatan los sentidos,
hay besos misteriosos que han dejado
mil sueños errantes y perdidos.

Hay besos perfumados, besos tibios
que palpitan en íntimos anhelos,
hay besos que en los labios dejan huellas
como un campo de sol entre dos hielos.

Hay besos que parecen azucenas
por sublimes, ingenuos y por puros,
hay besos traicioneros y cobardes,
hay besos maldecidos y perjuros.

Hay besos que producen desvaríos
de amorosa pasión ardiente y loca,
tú los conoces bien son besos míos
inventados por mí, para tu boca.

Besos de llama que en rastro impreso
llevan los surcos de un amor vedado,
besos de tempestad, salvajes besos
que solo nuestros labios han probado.

¿Te acuerdas del primero...? Indefinible;
cubrió tu faz de cárdenos sonrojos

y en los espasmos de emoción terrible,
llenaron sé de lágrimas tus ojos.

¿Te acuerdas que una tarde en loco exceso
te vi celoso imaginando agravios,
te suspendí en mis brazos... vibró un beso,
y qué viste después...? Sangre en mis labios.

Yo te enseñe a besar: los besos fríos
son de impasible corazón de roca,
yo te enseñé a besar con besos míos
inventados por mí, para tu boca.

(Gabriela Mistral)

Las mujeres se juntan alrededor "del fuego",enviado por el maestro Amador Peña Chavez

Cuando las cabezas de las mujeres se juntan alrededor “del fuego”
Simone Seija Paseyro
Uruguaya – 45 años

Alguien me dijo que no es casual…que desde siempre las elegimos. Que las encontramos en el camino de la vida, nos reconocemos y sabemos que en algún lugar de la historia de los mundos fuimos del mismo clan. Pasan las décadas y al volver a recorrer los ríos esos cauces, tengo muy presentes las cualidades que las trajeron a mi tierra personal.
Valientes, reidoras y con labia. Capaces de pasar horas enteras escuchando, muriéndose de risa, consolando. Arquitectas de sueños, hacedoras de planes, ingenieras de la cocina, cantautoras de canciones de cuna.
Cuando las cabezas de las mujeres se juntan alrededor de “un fuego”, nacen fuerzas, crecen magias, arden brasas, que gozan, festejan, curan, recomponen, inventan, crean, unen, desunen, entierran, dan vida, rezongan, se conduelen.

Ese fuego puede ser la mesa de un bar, las idas para afuera en vacaciones, el patio de un colegio, el galpón donde jugábamos en la infancia, el living de una casa, el corredor de una facultad, un mate en el parque, la señal de alarma de que alguna nos necesita o ese tesoro incalculable que son las quedadas a dormir en la casa de las otras.
Las de adolescentes después de un baile, o para preparar un examen, o para cerrar una noche de cine. Las de “veníte el sábado” porque no hay nada mejor que hacer en el mundo que escuchar música, y hablar, hablar y hablar hasta cansarse. Las de adultas, a veces para asilar en nuestras almas a una con desesperanza en los ojos, y entonces nos desdoblamos en abrazos, en mimos, en palabras, para recordarle que siempre hay un mañana. A veces para compartir, departir, construir, sin excusas, solo por las meras ganas.

El futuro en un tiempo no existía. Cualquiera mayor de 25 era de una vejez no imaginada…y sin embargo…detrás de cada una de nosotras, nuestros ojos.
Cambiamos. Crecimos. Nos dolimos. Parimos hijos. Enterramos muertos. Amamos. Fuimos y somos amadas. Dejamos y nos dejaron. Nos enojamos para toda la vida, para descubrir que toda la vida es mucho y no valía la pena. Cuidamos y en el mejor de los casos nos dejamos cuidar.
Nos casamos, nos juntamos, nos divorciamos. O no.
Creímos morirnos muchas veces, y encontramos en algún lugar la fuerza de seguir. Bailamos con un hombre, pero la danza más lograda la hicimos para nuestros hijos al enseñarles a caminar.

Pasamos noches en blanco, noches en negro, noches en rojo, noches de luz y de sombras. Noches de miles de estrellas y noches desangeladas. Hicimos el amor, y cuando correspondió, también la guerra. Nos entregamos. Nos protegimos. Fuimos heridas e inevitablemente, herimos.
Entonces…los cuerpos dieron cuenta de esas lides, pero todas mantuvimos intacta la mirada. La que nos define, la que nos hace saber que ahí estamos, que seguimos estando y nunca dejamos de estar.
Porque juntas construimos nuestros propios cimientos, en tiempos donde nuestro edificio recién se empezaba a erigir.
Somos más sabias, más hermosas, más completas, más plenas, más dulces, más risueñas y por suerte, de alguna manera, más salvajes.
Y en aquel tiempo también lo éramos, sólo que no lo sabíamos. Hoy somos todas espejos de las unas, y al vernos reflejadas en esta danza cotidiana, me emociono.
Porque cuando las cabezas de las mujeres se juntan alrededor “del fuego” que deciden avivar con su presencia, hay fiesta, hay aquelarre, misterio, tormenta, centellas y armonía. Como siempre. Como nunca. Como toda la vida.
Para todas las brasas de mi vida, las que arden desde hace tanto, y las que recién se suman al fogón.

16 May 2010

miguel hernandez


Yo no quiero más luz que tu cuerpo ante el mío:
claridad absoluta, transparencia redonda.
Limpidez cuya extraña, como el fondo del río,
con el tiempo se afirma, con la sangre se ahonda..

¿Qué lucientes materias duraderas te han hecho,
corazón de alborada, carnación matutina?
Yo no quiero más día que el que exhala tu pecho.
Tu sangre es la mañana que jamás se termina.
No hay más luz que tu cuerpo, no hay más sol: todo ocaso.
Yo no veo las cosas a otra luz que tu frente.
La otra luz es fantasma, nada más, de tu paso.
Tu insondable mirada nunca gira al poniente.
Claridad sin posible declinar. Suma esencia
del fulgor que ni cede ni abandona la cumbre.
Juventud. Limpidez. Claridad. Transparencia
acercando los astros más lejanos de lumbre.
Claro cuerpo moreno de calor fecundante.
Hierba negra el origen; hierba negra las sienes.
Trago negro los ojos, la mirada distante.
Día azul. Noche clara. Sombra clara que vienes.

Yo no quiero más luz que tu sombra dorada
donde brotan anillos de una hierba sombría.
En mi sangre, fielmente por tu cuerpo abrasada,
para siempre es de noche: para siempre es de día.

14 May 2010

Mario Benedetti, a veces...

Estados de ánimo
A veces me siento
como un águila en el aire.
Unas veces me siento
como pobre colina
y otras como montaña

de cumbres repetidas.
Unas veces me siento
como un acantilado
y en otras como un cielo
azul pero lejano.
A veces uno es
manantial entre rocas
y otras veces un árbol

con las últimas hojas.
Pero hoy me siento apenas
como laguna insomne
con un embarcadero
ya sin embarcaciones
una laguna verde
inmóvil y paciente
conforme con sus algas
sus musgos y sus peces,

sereno en mi confianza
confiando en que una tarde
te acerques y te mires,
te mires al mirarme.

Mario Benedetti Pictures, Images and Photos

Mario Benedetti

Homenage a Roque Dalton

¿Para qué debe servir la poesía revolucionaria?
¿Para hacer poetas o para hacer la revolución?
Roque Dalton


desde que te amo,
odio a mi profesor de Derecho Civil.

¿Puedo pensar en compraventas
con rostros de ventanas de cárcel,
en la teoría de la causa que me parece un túnel
lleno de grillos rojos y de raíces que se
frustraron sin el sol,
en hipotecas con tuberculosis,
en el registro
de la asaltante propiedad raíz?
¿Puedo pensar en eso, digo,
si tengo en pos de mi ansia tus grandes ojos simples
y oscuros como un lago nocturno,
tu voz reciente como la fresca madrugada de la mañana,
tu aroma musical -oh, fugitiva-
que guardo entre los dedos de mi mano derecha?
Lisa, la transparente
hija del aire:
tu desnudez me pide
el matutino sol de la pradera,
mis manos descendiendo desde la flor del agua
para salvar tu sangre
de las arterias verdes de la grama.
Y yo, pobre galeote de este siglo,
siervo inconcluso del hastío y la sangre,
te escribo y te amo mientras todos hablan
de los contratos de adhesión.
Ah, Lisa, Lisa, estoy
completamente herido.
Pobre de mi, querida,
solo con mi terror ante los Códigos,
estudiando Derecho con carne de presidio,
negando al cielo entre muchachos gordos
que creen firmemente en los rinocerontes,
pensando siempre en encontrar un bar
en donde si quitáramos las mesas
quepan la madrugada y tu junto a mis ojos.
Pobre de mi,
pobre de mi,
que soy marxista y me como las uñas,
que amo lo suaves garfios de la arena,
las palabras del mar y la simplicidad de las gaviotas;
que odio los Bancos,
las inyecciones de complejo B,
la nocturna crueldad de los motociclistas
que lanzan rudas piedras al ángulo de los sueños;
pobre de mi, querida,
pobre de mi,
pobre de este muchacho que nunca hirió a los árboles
a quien todos exigen en estos días
que lea amablemente a Jellinek,
que se acueste desnudo con las tarifas aduanales
y así jure ante el viento que el juez es superior al asesino
Ah, Lisa, Lisa, estoy
completamente herido.

11 May 2010

Love me without fear
Trust me without questioning
Need me without demanding
Want me without restrictions
Accept me without change
Desire me without inhibitions
For a love so free....
Will never fly away.

~ by Dick Sutphen ~

10 May 2010

Quickie Sex Etiquette-2

By David Strovny

Make sure she's wet
When you're getting ready to place your manhood inside her, make sure she's lubricated. The last thing you want to do is hurt her in a bad way. Gently rub your penis along her vagina and feel around to make sure she's wet before you place yourself inside her.

Don't create a comfortable
Forget about candlelight, incense and seductive music, otherwise all you'll be doing is hyping up an experience that may end up leaving her dissatisfied. The whole point of quickie sex is spontaneity so it's okay if you're in the living room, the TV is on and your pants are down to your ankles. That's the beauty of spontaneous, passionate, quickie sex.
Make noise
Let her know you're excited and that it's not just about release -- even if it is. Moaning and groaning will flatter her and demonstrate that you're excited about what you're experiencing. Now I'm not suggesting that you start screaming like a girl, but a little enthusiasm never hurt anyone.
Put her on top
Besides saying something clever like, "I want you on top because I want to watch your body move and caress your breasts," placing her in the dominant position can accomplish a couple of things. First, her being on top will likely increase her chances of reaching orgasm. Second, she won't feel like she's being taken over (although some women really enjoy that).

Don't ignore her
You don't have to "cuddle" for several hours, but don't act like she doesn't exist either. If you were watching TV, have her sit with you and put your arm around her. If she was in the middle of cooking dinner, go into the kitchen after a few minutes and tell her you love her (granted you do) and give her a kiss. The point is, don't make her feel like what just occurred had nothing to do with her and was all about you. Many women feel their most vulnerable after sex, keep that in mind.
Don't make it a habit
While quick, unadulterated sex is great on occasion, if you constantly barrage her with five-minute sessions, she will get bored, as will you. So engage in quickie sex on occasion, but don't make it the norm.
it's about both of you
Although five minutes usually isn't enough time for many women to reach orgasm, an occasional quick session can still be equally pleasurable for her so long as you're not completely insensitive toward her.

And remember, so long as you keep a woman's mind excited, her body will follow. Now have fun and make it quick.

09 May 2010

Quickie Sex Etiquette-1

By David Strovny

Just about every guy experiences those times when he just wants to take his woman, have his sexual way with her and then get on with the day without having to go through the entire foreplay and afterplay process.
Of course, there's nothing wrong with wanting a little quickie sex on occasion; believe it or not, there are plenty of women who enjoy it hard and fast and without all that fluffy stuff as well. The catch is that you have to know how to go about enjoying quickie sex without making your woman feel like you're about to leave a crisp twenty on the nightstand.
foreplay all day
Foreplay doesn't have to be something that you start doing ten minutes before penetration; foreplay is something you should be having with your woman all the time. Whether its complimenting the way she smells, the way she looks or calling her up to tell her that you were imagining yourself licking her, foreplay is something that keeps her mentally stimulated.
And so long as she knows that you desire her all the time, bending her over when you get home for a five-minute session that's all about innate desire is a wonderful thing, and she'll think so too.

But the objective of quickie sex is for both of you to achieve those innate desires. This doesn't necessarily mean that she must achieve orgasm, but nevertheless, it must be pleasurable for her as well.
get a move on
But before you make your attempt to fit an orgasm into a commercial break, there are some things you need to keep in mind first:

Talk to her
Prepare her for what's about to happen. Obviously, don't give her a play-by-play description, rather, make a sexual comment about her body like, "I can see that thong of yours peeking out of your pants and I feel like ripping it off." That'll likely get her thinking...

Kiss her first
Before you start pumping and pounding away, give her a deep, slow, wet kiss. Make her melt and turn her on. This means that you should ensure that your breath is fresh and you smell good. Her senses are important.

Feed her ego
While you're touching her in places where the sun don't shine, tell her that you've been thinking about getting your hands on her all day. Make her feel sexy by boosting her sexual morale.

08 May 2010

A ustedes.

Hoy les recuerdo como en cada mayo, enero o noviembre, estan aqui en estos dias conmigo, me tienden la mano y me ayudan a andar.

Se que solo oyeron su llanto una sola vez, que nunca les dieron el pecho, que han llorado muchas noches recordandoles,no se preocupes estan bien, el crece rapido y es muy fuerte, ella es un pequeñita adorable, siempre riendo.

Un dia ambos entenderan como vinieron al mundo y porque siempre les digo que tienen dos mamas,sabran cuanto le quisieron y que solo por amor renunciaron a oirles decir mama, un dia sabran claramente quienes son esos nombres que siempre añadimos en los rezos y que les ensene a pronunciar, un dia les daran un abrazo tan fuerte y tierno que les hara saber que no fue en vano.

Este dia de las madres se que recordaras cuando se movia dentro de ti ese tesoro que crecia y te daba pataditas, recordaras como me dejabas hablarle cuando aun estaba dentro de ti, recordaras el momento del parto, yo sosteniendo tu mano, el dolor de tus pechos llenos de leche, y la angustia despues de dejarlo partir, por eso te admiro y respeto y le agradezco a la vida haberte puesto en mi camino y haber aceptado mi propuesta aquella tarde, eres tambien la mama de mi primer hijo.

Nosotros no nos vimos nunca, pero se que sabes todo de mi y que vistes mis fotos mil veces antes de decidir, se que te dolio dejarle, que no pudistes darle nombre, que tan angustiada estabas que solo querias irte y que en las noches llorabas cuando nadie te veia.

Se que el dolor no se alivia y que tratas de explicarle a las niñas porque de vez en cuando lloras y te escondes tras las cortinas, y aunque en este dia de las madres te colmen de regalos y felicitaciones, habra una sombra que no te dejara sonrreir, eres tambien la mama de mi segundo bebe.
A ustedes, sientan hoy mi abrazo y sobre todo el pequeñito besito en sus mejillas de nuestros tesoros, sepan que no tendran nunca razon alguna para arrepentirse de sus decisiones y que les deseamos lo mejor del mundo y que ya nos veremos algun dia, en algun lugar.


How to Have Quickie Sex

By vivianmarkum
Some of you might be saying that quickie sex is the only sex you ever have , in which case you should be reading a "How To Last Longer in Bed". The kind of quickie sex this article is about is the kind of sex that is spontaneous, unplanned sex in creative places at creative times.

Step 1Find a partner. Believe it or not , quickie sex is gonna happen a lot more often if you are married or have a girlfriend, although it is possible to find a casual sex partner or a complete stranger.

Step 2 Although quickie sex is spur of the moment excitement, you should still do some planning. If you are a woman where skirts , crotchless panties or no undies at all. If you use birth control of any sort , make sure you have a condom handy , or have taken your pill , etc...

Step 3 Guys , you should scope out areas , times of the day where you and your woman can have some risky sex , at risky areas , at risky times , where you wont get caught. Same goes for you to when it comes to the undies. Don't wear any if you are planning some surprise sex in public.

Step 4 Movie theaters , hiking trails , under the table with your hands while you are out to dinner , the ever so popular back seat of the car, get risky on a train or subway (bring a blanket) , elevators are always fun , at the beach (wade out into the water to cover yourselves), in your back yard, swimming pools.

Step 5 Quickie sex can still be fun at home. Right before you leave for work, right before you have guests over, in the laundry room , in the kitchen, in the bathroom , on the tool bench, on the pool table.

Step 6 Us ladies really have the power to have a lot of fun with this since rarely will we be denied by our man to try something wild and crazy. Guys , you may have to deal with a few let downs , but with enough creativity and planning , you will get what you need eventually. Also it helps to get on one of those social networks that cater to the more kinky side of life.

06 May 2010

Quick Sex Recipe - Thirty Minutes or Less-2

By Pala Copeland and Al Link
And now, back to reality-although quick satisfying sex for both parties is not impossible, it is rare. You may think half an hour is not "quick sex", after all according to Durex' Global Sex Survey 2000 the average time for lovemaking around the world is under 30 minutes, but hey, who wants to be average? When you consider sexual satisfaction, 30 minutes may be plenty of time for a man to get his rocks off but women generally need longer, especially when making love with a partner. While many women can regularly reach orgasm through masturbation-the Sinclair Sexuality Institute says 60% do-a recent Cosmpolitan survey reports only 18% always find the big O with a lover. Too little time and lack of technique are the big culprits.

Men, especially younger men, seem to enjoy having their genitals touched at any time. This is rarely the case with most women-when a man reaches for breasts or genitals as the first touch it's a turn-off, not a turn-on. That's because women take much longer than men to come to full arousal. Remember this one-liner? "Women are ready 15 minutes after men are finished." Although women have as much erectile, pleasure-giving tissue as men, most of it is inside. The woman's clitoris becomes erect and hard as arousal and excitement builds during sexual play. Her inner and outer lips, and the soft tissues at the entrance to the vagina, will become engorged with blood as passion increases. Eventually the entire inside of the vaginal canal will become plump, juicy and sensitized, but it can take as much as an hour or more before she is really ready and eager for penetration. Without proper lubrication of these fragile tissues, intercourse can be unpleasant or downright painful. Even if you use a lubricant, like Astroglide or Eros, until her vaginal canal is relaxed and open with excitement, penetration won't give her the delightful sensations you'd both like.

Men also find quickies more satisfying than women because they generally enjoy sex at any time. If men make an emotional connection at all, it will be after they have had sex, whereas women often require a heart connection to build their interest. With quick sex aimed at satisfying only her partner's needs a woman may feel she's being used. She may be reminded of a painful experience of sexual abuse, or she may feel guilt and shame based on years of religious and cultural sex-negative conditioning that still says good girls do not really enjoy sex-if they do, they are sluts or whores. Fast sex can bring up this disrespectful imagery, and for women, respect is ultimately important. Fortunately, more women are beginning to claim their right to sexual pleasure as a natural part of a full life, and that includes sexual satisfaction at their pace.

For men, admiration is ultimately important, and admiration from their buddies seems to matter the most-especially for younger men. Men admire other men who get a lot of sex, and they seem most impressed by the man who gets a lot of fast sex! The more mature a man becomes in his sexuality, the less this will be true-he'll value the opinions of his buddies less, and of his woman more. Women, especially younger women, are often looking for a committed relationship that will develop and last with great sex as part of it, whereas young men although eager for sex, may rather avoid being tied down in a relationship. For women, loveless sex outside of relationship may make them feel bad about themselves, but for men, sex outside of relationship is an ego-boosting conquest, that confirms they are attractive, desirable and powerful. This difference in perspective leads to very different feelings about fast sex.

This is not to say that women cannot enjoy quickies, they can, but as an occasional experience when the time, energy and feeling is right-for example, if you have been separated for some time. You get back together and jump on each other. Neither of you can wait to even say hello. The whole thing can be over in a few delirious moments. However, it's better-for both of you-if this first quickie is followed by a delicious lingering loving, during which you become intimately reacquainted. Both lovers can also enjoy sex as a way to release tension-fast hot sex is a great way to make up after an argument. Sometimes a woman will take pleasure in fast sex, because she knows it pleases her man, that he really "needed" it to relieve stresses of work or school for instance.

Another scenario in which women honestly enjoy fast sex (as opposed to pretending to or just tolerating it) may be at a party or a bar, where the two of you are complete strangers who make intense eye contact. You approach each other; your pheromones mingle and drive you into an instant, lusty frenzy. As Lou Reed says, "I think it's chemical." There is something about the eyes, the shape of the mouth, the tone of voice, the cut of hair, the exposed cleavage, or the bulge in the pants, that drives you wild in a completely irrational way. You go outside in a dark alley, into your car, or into a storage room and get it on fast and furious. Very few words may have been spoken. You are animals in rut. The danger of it, the excitement of it, the forbiddeness of it, can be so overwhelming that you (especially the woman) act in a way uncharacteristic of your usual behavior.

05 May 2010

Quick Sex Recipe - Thirty Minutes or Less-1

By Pala Copeland and Al Link
Quick, satisfying sex is one of the great oxymorons of our time. An oxymoron is the juxtaposition of two things that you would not expect to go together-like "biggest little whorehouse in Texas", "virgin birth", "predictable chaos", "random order", "congressional ethics", "progressive conservative", "even odds", "military intelligence", "junk food", and "jumbo shrimp". Our mission impossible assignment, and we decided to accept it, was to come up with a thirty-minute recipe for great sex. Get your stopwatches out. Thirty minutes or less-and it is free-here is the recipe.
Make eye contact. Hold that eye contact. You say something like, "You are gorgeous, completely stunning. I am rendered speechless just looking at your smile. I am so turned on that I can't help myself." Come together kissing-deep French kisses using your tongues. She immediately grabs you by the crotch. You moan, "Oh God!" Your erection is already a major event. She whispers into your ear, "I want you inside me, right now!" Time elapsed: 5 minutes!
You throw her down onto the floor, or swoop her up in your arms and onto a bed or nearby couch, or large padded chair. You jump on top of her in an instant. Tear each other's clothes off. If you have really abandoned yourselves, really let go of all control, you will actually rip and tear them. She takes the tails of your shirt and yanks it open, ripping off several buttons in the process. You pull her skirt up around her hips, grasp her panties in both hands and tear them from her body in one swift action. You are both breathless and growling like animals. Time elapsed: 7 minutes!

Push her bra up around her neck and suck hard on her exposed breasts, cupping them in your hands as you work them, building her desire to a frenzy. Her nipples are hard knobs of excitement. She moans and cries out with the pleasure of it. You whisper in abandoned passion, "I've got to have you. I want you. I love you." She replies, "Yes, yessssss! Please give it to me." Elapsed time: 10 minutes!

She unzips your pants and takes your penis and scrotum full into her hand. Your are already on the edge of ejaculating-your excitement is so intense. She pulls your scrotum down from your body, as you scream, "Ahhhhhgggg", a primal animal scream that carries the hot sexual energy up through your body away from your burning, bulging genitals. Her gentle testicle tugging, and your primal animal scream help you delay your ejaculation. Elapsed time: 13 minutes!

You turn around and enclose her erect clitoris in your mouth. She takes your jade stalk into her mouth. You suck in unison. She climaxes instantly and cries out, "Oh yes baby, yessss! Please give it to me. I can't wait another minute." You put your index and middle finger one to two inches insider her yoni, turning them up toward the ceiling and finds the G-spot. She climaxes again, deeper this time and more internally, as she writhes and moans in delight. Pre-cum drips from the end of your penis as she now holds it in her hand for caressing and adoration. She licks the clear, odorless, tasteless, deliciously slippery liquid as fast as it is secreted. She knows this is not ejaculate, but an indication of your peak arousal. Elapsed time: 20 minutes!

As you roll over, she settles on top of you, taking you full inside with one swift, incredibly agile move. She gasps at the enormous magnitude of you, and her ejaculate gushes out hotly across your pubic bone, dribbling down to tickle your anus. She begins thrusting rapidly, screaming like a wildcat. Elapsed time: 29 minutes!
She climaxes for the third time as she presses down hard against you, at the same moment reaching down with the index finger of her left hand, and pushing it ruthlessly into your anus. You cum instantly. Sweat covers your bodies as you lie still together-sated, spent, all tension gone, completely at peace, delirious in the safety and comfort of each other's embrace. Elapsed time: 30 minutes!

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